if i were a bird ...: what it means to be a mother

recently i was invited to help out with a site focused on helping single mothers.

i am honored to have the chance to help other women.

i am not a single mother myself, but two women close to me are currently in such circumstances. reflecting upon these women's struggles, and the tenderness of single motherhood, i couldn't help but think about the beauty that is motherhood, whether single or married.

wanting to understand the unique struggles of single mothers led me to find and read some single mothers' blogs.

themes within their blogs stood out to me: how they love being a mom, how things turned out different than they originally expected, how it can be lonely.

the loneliness part is what gets me. i sometimes feel lonely when the hubby is gone for a day at work. and i couldn't imagine not being able to look forward to a loving husband coming home to give my hands a break.

this brings me to two ideas that represent motherhood to me.

1) "mother of all living" - First woman, Eve, was given her name which means "mother of all living" before she bore children. Her identity and role as "mother" preceded her maternity (as noted in one of my favorite books of all time "A Quiet Heart" by Patricia T. Holland). Not only did her motherly role exist before she had children but her gifts, her instincts, her innate desires to nurture, as woman were for "all living". this means all women, as daughters of Eve, are mothers, whether or not they've experienced maternity. have you ever seen a little girl rock and sing to a doll? or play house? her instincts obviously precede maternity.

what does it mean to be a mother of all living to you?

2) mothering/motherhood is best done in groups - i occasionally listened to NPR on the radio. one day i heard one of the British NPR reporters share findings on a study on the social connection of mother monkeys and the outcomes for their offspring.

the findings were that mother monkeys who mothered in groups had offspring who were healthier, brighter, stronger, and excelled in their environments. while mother monkeys who mothered alone, secluded from other mother monkeys, had offspring that were less healthy, demonstrated lower IQs, and were more likely to die young.

don't you feel this principle applies to us humans, too?

we need each other. we are built that way. it works amazingly well that way. perhaps by design.

so while we can go about and "mother" or give life to all living, let us go about and give life to each other, including another mother, your neighbor, sister, associate, or friend. thus reaping the blessings of what it means to be a mother.

a few women who have been a "mother" to me