of cookies and wedges

photo from http://sallysbakingaddiction.com. for awesome cookie recipes, click here.

on the cookie later...

so much love is in my heart as i write my thoughts today. for those i love most are on my mind in writing this.

i once heard a talk given about wedges, from one of my favorite speakers and spiritual leaders, President Thomas S. Monson. i remember the talk leaving a profound impression on me. to read the full talk click here.

the talk was based off of the following story provided by Samuel T Whitman.

 “The ice storm [that winter] wasn’t generally destructive. True, a few wires came down, and there was a sudden jump in accidents along the highway. … Normally, the big walnut tree could easily have borne the weight that formed on its spreading limbs. It was the iron wedge in its heart that caused the damage.

“The story of the iron wedge began years ago when the white-haired farmer [who now inhabited the property on which it stood] was a lad on his father’s homestead. The sawmill had then only recently been moved from the valley, and the settlers were still finding tools and odd pieces of equipment scattered about. …

“On this particular day, it was a faller’s wedge—wide, flat, and heavy, a foot or more long, and splayed from mighty poundings [—which the lad found] … in the south pasture. [A faller’s wedge, used to help fell a tree, is inserted in a cut made by a saw and then struck with a sledge hammer to widen the cut.] … Because he was already late for dinner, the lad laid the wedge … between the limbs of the young walnut tree his father had planted near the front gate. He would take the wedge to the shed right after dinner, or sometime when he was going that way.

“He truly meant to, but he never did. [The wedge] was there between the limbs, a little tight, when he attained his manhood. It was there, now firmly gripped, when he married and took over his father’s farm. It was half grown over on the day the threshing crew ate dinner under the tree. … Grown in and healed over, the wedge was still in the tree the winter the ice storm came.

“In the chill silence of that wintry night … one of the three major limbs split away from the trunk and crashed to the ground. This so unbalanced the remainder of the top that it, too, split apart and went down. When the storm was over, not a twig of the once-proud tree remained.

“Early the next morning, the farmer went out to mourn his loss. …

“Then, his eyes caught sight of something in the splintered ruin. ‘The wedge,’ he muttered reproachfully. ‘The wedge I found in the south pasture.’ A glance told him why the tree had fallen. Growing, edge-up in the trunk, the wedge had prevented the limb fibers from knitting together as they should.” ¹

President Monson compared the story of this tree to the danger of leaving wedges in relationships because of the unwillingness to forgive another's offense. he also touched on the blessings from preventing wedges from ever entering or even staying around too long if a wedge has been left to fester.

He continued: "The spirit must be freed from tethers so strong and feelings never put to rest, so that the lift of life may give buoyancy to the soul. In many families, there are hurt feelings and a reluctance to forgive. It doesn’t really matter what the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to injure. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals. George Herbert, an early 17th-century poet, wrote these lines: “He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven, for everyone has need of forgiveness.”

i have known the sorrow, struggle, and pain that comes from being left with the negative consequences of another's choices. i have also known the freedom, joy, and peace that comes from letting the pain from such offenses go. and some i have had to let go again, and again. 

when an offense is serious enough where it requires appropriate distance and separation from the offender, that is to be understood. i know from experience and do understand, that wounds, deep enough, often require time and distance for needed healing, and that it may even take some time to let it go. that, too, is to be understood. 

i also know from experience that there comes a point where, to further the healing and peace that is needed, it requires we let go of the pain and move on to the joy that awaits.

the last thing we need is pain to define who we are as a person.  there is so much more to our existence than pain. 

that being said, to forgive an offender and forget the injury, doesn't necessarily require everything goes back to the way things were before.  in fact, i would hope we would be more apt to set and sustain appropriate and healthy boundaries that would protect us from getting hurt again and protect the offender from offending again. healthy boundaries benefit all.

as i have also heard it put: you can forgive the thief who stole from your home, but that does not mean you leave your door unlocked again. 

so your trust has been broken and someone let you down. what now?

maybe you've let someone down or broken someone's trust? what to do? i'm confident we've all come short in this regard.

a law of the universe exists and works everyday, sometimes referred to as the "law of the harvest;" i also fondly call it the "law of the boomerang," or "law of restoration," or even the "law of justice." choose your pick.

this law establishes that what we put out must return the way we sent it out. or in other words, dirt clods on a cookie sheet will never be chocolate chip cookies (i love food; many of my personal analogies involve food). in the case of dirt clods and cookies, the laws of chemistry make dirt dirt, and sugar, butter, flour, egg, chocolate chips, etc. chocolate chip cookies.

it is the same. everywhere. in all that we do (or don't do).

quality of input = quality of output

etc.  it's just how it works. and thankfully it does, because it makes it the most reliable pattern in the universe. i love all things reliable, like math, and toyotas...

why did i bring up this law? because it applies to all things, especially relationships.

if we want forgiveness for our mistakes, we must offer it to others. if we want love and friendship, we must also offer it to others. corn seeds grow corn, and apple seeds, apples. reliable? yes. totally awesome.

there's a line in one of my favorite hymns that expounds on this law most beautifully:

Our Savior's love 
Shines like the sun with perfect light,
As from above 
It breaks through clouds of strife.
Lighting our way,
It leads us back into his sight,
Where we may stay 
To share eternal life.

i bolded the word "share" because it is the point of it all: we receive what we give out, sooner or later. in this verse of hymn, it means that to have eternal life is to share it, to give it away to others. eternal life is not and will never be a selfish existence.

this i have learned for myself. i share thoughts and feelings on this law and on wedges, in hopes that we might all trust these laws and principles, that we might enjoy the blessings that follow from living these laws and principles more fully.

all my love,

juli

another lovely cookie pic. yum.