if any of my children ever wonder what i know or how i know, i hope i can explain simply so they don't misunderstand me.
sharing all that i know and how i know would take much too long. but here's what i will share today.
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| our little family - halloween 2012 |
what has led to what i know
i was born in the faith. my paternal grandparents converted to the LDS faith in the Netherlands, and my mother's line in the Church goes farther back than Nauvoo. both my parents served missions. my parents are also divorced.
because eternal families are often a big part of our testimonies as members of the Church, when a family doesn't succeed, one is often led to ask, "how did this happen?", "what does this mean about all that i've ever believed? about my family? about my faith? about my family in my faith?"
i once met a sister when i worked at Deseret Book who looked like she had seen better days. her physical appearance was rough and unkept. her eyes revealed her spirit had experienced the same. i think at heart she wanted to come in to feel some kind of the Spirit she hoped would bring her peace, but her mouth wanted to contend with how the Church doesn't accept broken families, and how her and her children felt unwanted at Church. she carried deep, deep wounds. i felt for her, because i know her insecurities mostly came from not so much those around her, but within herself and not understanding yet how her "broken" family still fit into the gospel plan.
what i want to say to her and to anyone else who may have felt the same way is "of course you fit in; you fit in here, you fit in there at Church, and you especially fit in with God, Who is the Healer of all broken things."
all i was able to tell her then was that i knew in part how she felt. i, too, am a child of a broken family, at one point i, too, wondered how i fit in, at church with intact families and in the plan that seemed to only apply to intact, "eternal" families. however, i feel the answers to her question comes down to the basic premises of the restored gospel, which basics i know to be true.
my faith in and testimony of these premises are multifaceted, like a gem, which is why it would take too long to explain in one sitting. but here are some of the facets of my testimony:
the plan of salvation
the eternal nature, and reality of the Godhead
the reality of God the Father
the presence and power of God the Son
the purpose and power of God the Holy Ghost
the role of prayer in testimony
the power of scripture study in testimony
the reality of and usefulness of the Atonement
the protection and power that comes from authorized covenants
the power of repentance
the experience of the First Vision
the development of and perfecting of the Church through revelation
the principle of revelation
holding fast to and developing these facets of my testimony, i've learned some lessons as i've sought answers to my questions about my family and the gospel plan:
1) the act of divorce is not the problem, it is the behavior that causes/leads to the divorce that is the real issue. God divorced one third of His children who chose not to follow the plan, or should i say, one third of God's children divorced themselves from God because they chose not to follow the plan? Abraham sent Haagar away with Ishmael, that was a type of divorcement. Nephi separated from his brothers who chronically sought to take away his life: that was a type of divorcement. every time we cut ourselves off from God through disobedience, that is a type of divorcement.
2) what's not made right in this life, will be made right in the next. i once served at a seminary for special needs teenagers. the seminary principal there was kind to hear out my struggle and questions regarding my broken family. he told me that in his position of service at Church, he saw couples whose marriages weren't eternal in nature, though sealed in the temple. and that if these couples did not make things right in their marriage in this life, they would likely no longer be married in the next.
in summary, i know the principles below to be true from every nook and cranny of my heart:
1) God is no respecter of persons. He will not withhold blessings from those who have faithfully lived for them.
and
2) God is the Great Restorer. He will always make up for that which is lost.
